Don’t go jumping waterfalls / please keep to the lake

A text­book def­i­n­i­tion of delu­sions of self-impor­tance?

.… the Com­merce Com­mis­sion in New Zealand ear­li­er today invit­ed inter­est­ed par­ties to make sub­mis­sions to its inquiry into Uni­ver­sal Music’s pro­posed takeover of the EMI record com­pa­nies.

As report­ed here, the New Zealand Com­merce Com­mis­sion is to make a deci­sion by May the 13th as to whether the EMI/Universal merg­er will be allowed to pro­ceed. Now, unless you’ve been swim­ming under­wa­ter for the last six months or so, you are like­ly to be aware that the very large mul­ti-nation­al media cor­po­ra­tion, Uni­ver­sal Music Group — head­quar­tered in France —  has decid­ed it wish­es to pur­chase the small­er mul­ti-nation­al media group, EMI — head­quar­tered in the UK.

This may or may not go ahead.

The deci­sion that decides this will like­ly be made in Brus­sels, at the Euro­pean Com­mis­sion (the US equiv­a­lent is more like­ly to green-stamp — anti-monop­o­lis­tic law seem­ing­ly long dead in the water in the USA). It will not be made in New Zealand. Noth­ing that is con­sid­ered or decid­ed in New Zealand will have any bear­ing, nor will it even be noticed.

Maybe this is the Kim Il Dot Com effect — we think the world is watch­ing (they’re real­ly not, at least not beyond Kim).

And con­sid­er a cou­ple of poten­tial­ly ludi­crous out­comes:

1. The NZ Com­merce Com­mis­sion says no merg­er. The EC says yes. Do the two com­pa­nies real­ly merge every­where aside from New Zealand?

2. The NZ Com­merce Com­mis­sion says yes. The EC says no. The two merge ful­ly — but only in New Zealand?

Per­haps they’re oblig­ed to look at this — if so one could rea­son­ably argue that law is ridicu­lous­ly bro­ken. Either way, it’s an extra­or­di­nary waste of New Zealand tax­pay­er mon­ey.

It’s also real­ly embar­rass­ing.

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