Extended Play 250505 on George

Blackjoy-La Stache-Art of Disco-2005
Plantlife-We Can Get high-Gut-2004
Carol Williams-Can’t Get Away (Club Dub)-Vanguard-1983
Mellow Man Ace-Mentirosa-Capitol-1990
Art of noise-Beatbox-ZTT-1983
Bassomatic-Fascination Rhythm (Claudio Canigga mix)-Guerilla-1990
Cashflow-Party Freak (Latin Rascals Edit)-Atlanta Artists-1986
Alyson Williams-Sleep talk-Def jam-1989
Joe Smooth-I’ll Be There-DJ International-1988
Powerhouse-Kenny’s Jazz (Dope mix)-Nu Groove-1989
Deee Lite-Build The Bridge (Cross Cultural mix)-Elektra-1990
Sandee-Notice Me (club vox)-Fever-1988
Michael Jackson-Can’t Help It (Tangoterje edit)-Gamm-2005
A.Greenman-Sunday Love of Kind-Soul Jazz-2005
Ballistic Brothers-Tuning Up-Soundboy-1997
Papermusic Issue One-Downtime-Paper-1995
Lindstrom-Paaskeyld-Bear Ent-2005
Alden Tyrell-Disco Lunar Module Remix-Clone-2005
Play Paul-Lalaland-Gigolo-2005
Darkman-Annihilating Rhythm (Destruction mix)-Strictly Rhythm-1992
Echo & The Bunnyman-The Killing Moon (12’ version)-Korova-1983
Adamski-NRG-MCA-1990
Kerri Chandler-Coro (dub)-King Street-1999
Designer Music-Good Girls-Planet E-1994
Roxy Music-Angel Eyes (12” mix)-Polydor-1978

This is what the onset of winter does to a soul….

Okay, okay…time to be a miserable old git. After god knows how many decades surrounded by black and silver bits of plastic and having paid for countless record company lunches at Prego out of my purchases, I’m going to indulge in a bit of negative self gratification by naming the artists I unreservedly hate. I’ve paid for the right. Not only financially but by the virtue of having suffered a lot as the likes of Radio bloody Hauraki rotate endlessly much of this guff, or having involuntarily been put in a position where my senses are viciously assaulted by the below acts and records. There are lots of records I don’t like which is neither here nor there. There are lots of records I love too and I get a massive buzz mumbling on about those, as I do. But these are the acts I hate, without rhyme, reason, or logic. I can see nothing that redeems their existence.

Its not all bad..out of some sort of respect for New Zealand Music month, I’ve not mentioned any local acts…..actually I’m lying here..there are no NZ acts that fit the bill. As I mentioned in my last ramble, Wayne Bell and I had tossed around a worst of NZ (which has now been honourably named “Nature’s Worst” by an anonymous commenter below…..a wholly appropriate name as there is a fair crossover between our list and the “Nature’s Best” top 30) but that is song based rather than artist based. Let’s face it, most NZ acts, no matter how lousy they are, don’t get to make enough albums to reach a truly despicable rating, a career F-; although The Narcs came close. And Mi-sex almost qualified but they were more indescribably average than awful, something we in NZ have always celebrated.….These guys just make or made records you simply don’t notice.

This being incredibly negative thing is quite a release actually.

So….to the venom…in no particular order apart from numero uno. I almost can’t bring myself to type……

• Dire Straits: there, I did it. My god I hate Mark fucking Knoffler and his whinging bunch of low rent money-for-nothings. I’ve never been able to figure out the appeal of these soulless, rhythmless, tuneless, faceless twats. Some acts develop a kitsch appeal from a distance. No such luck here. If the National Party were a band, they’d sound like this.
• Sting & The Police: Who in god’s name buys this stuff. Actually no one these days. Universal advertised a Sting album on TV for about a year and still didn’t manage to chart it. Not bad in a country where selling 20 copies nationwide in a week gets you in the top 30 for much of the year. An odious little school teacher with no obvious talent or charisma. No wonder his band mates hated him. Mark Knoffler is his mate……
• Bruce Springsteen: yep, I know he’s an icon and all that and he’s worthy, an artist and the working man’s poet but really, it’s all verbose pretentious crap. The working class man with millions in the bank, a model on each arm and too much to say. He almost redeemed himself when he came out publicly against GWB, but, lets face it, you’d have to have an IQ below that of the average piece of coal to vote for Bush…so, Bruce…sorry, no offence meant, but fuck off…..
• Bob Dylan: Up to about 73, Bob was cool…he was the man. He looked like nothing on the planet, wore shades better than any man ever has and he wrote sharp songs, funny fuck-you sort of stuff, culminating in the peerless “Blood on the Tracks”. But then it all went to shit. He became the nauseous, eccentric voice of an aging generation with nothing to say. Yep, I know he wins Grammies (nuff said) but seriously Bob…shut up.
• Fleetwood Mac: the first albums were okay (the Peter Green era), but, honestly, since then its been a black hole. Actually..more like an endless nasal cavity with a missing membrane. The cocaine addled soundtrack to suburban mediocrity. And now they’re hailed as “Balearic”. Makes you a bit ill really…
• Steely Dan: beautifully played, beautifully produced soulless crap. Miles Davis hated them and that’s good enough for me…
• Supertramp: largely forgotten now which is some sort of justice, but in my youth you couldn’t escape this nasal fluffy shite. The reason why large slabs of the seventies are best forgotten.
• U2: I’m eternally grateful for the massive bar tab these buys ran up at Cause Celebre all those years back, and I have a quiet soft spot for the first album “Boy”. But seriously, since then it’s been a spiralling descent into an ever growing void. To be honest, I feel more sorry than anything for this talentless foursome. Well I would if they didn’t have a higher GDP than most African nations. The sad, desperate, re-launch of the band with every album makes me cringe…remember the “Discotheque” thing…oh dear. Bono is a truly embarrassing self important dickhead and the rest are not a lot better. What sort of grown man calls himself “The Edge”.
• Coldplay: somebody give these guys a spine
• Bob Marley: now I’m in trouble. Bruce might be an icon but Bob is now celestial, especially in a country where the national day and his birthday are one and the same. Big, big fan of the Wailers and Bob up till about ’75 but the corporate machine after that leaves me cold and does my head in. Good gig though…..
• Bootlegs / Remixes: the dance variety where some old rock or soul track gets a four on the floor treatment from some hack like Grant Nelson or such and gets picked up as a floor filler by DJ no-hope. See Fleetwood Mac & Dire Straits above. Also Funky House.
  

And talking of whingeing: over at The Life of Riley, Myk has a fair old go at Auckland on a return visit and gets a bit of flack for it. Fair enough I reckon. How dare you have an opinion on the country that god chose as the anointed one, bro. What the fuck do you mean, heading overseas for a while, trekking around the planet, widening your horizons and then coming back with an informed view? How dare you criticize..do you like it or not. If not..on yer bike yer pommy wannabe…

To be fair Myk, the drinks are somewhat cheaper than Londontown in my experience..$7.50 is only $1 more than the clubs were charging a decade or so ago, and the ciggies in clubs ban gets my vote. But musically, bang on I reckon…viva la revolution. Fuck knows we need it.

And buy the Fat Freddy’s album Myk…its fairly representative of where independent music is at in NZ right now. It’s not my cuppa…it’s pleasant enough, and its hit a nerve in NZ, but it still sounds to me like a feral (what is it with the feral thing in NZ right now…can musicians no longer afford soap) UB40 infused with a touch of Stevie Wonder, which is better than The Black Seeds, who remind me of UB40 with Nick Kershaw on vocals. But I think its bloody fantastic that it’s number one, with all that implies for independent music and the future of musical expression in this country. You don’t have to like a record to support it..

I don’t think that last line is enough to keep me out of trouble sadly…I guess the dark side may’ve got me

I promise the next post will be really really positive……

so i’d better get to it pronto

The Positive Post

Ummmmm………

Six months into 2005 and its been a pretty astounding year for music. A pretty astounding year for debut albums too, despite the doom and gloom and depression that allegedly is swamping the music industry. The iPod and all the other players, and the ongoing online revolution, both legal and illegal, has given popular music a thriving new currency. So much music being listened to with so much passion by so many people.

I love the Plantlife album and can’t for the life of me see why it’s not the biggest record on the planet right now. The most exciting pop-hop record since the first De La Soul. Funny, sharp and that rare beast..a record that works from beginning to end…over and over and over again. Right now, its album of the year..this week

The Tussle album is a funky (a much abused term sadly) twisted left field disc that evokes the spirit of ESG and Liquid Liquid (Dennis Young is on the record), and the 12” mixes on one of my favourite labels, Rong, are simply the shizz. Big gnarly basslines and banging grooves that twist your spine.

And why are so many good records coming out of Norway. Todd Terje’s Jacko twist is pretty amazing, especially the middle bit and the way it bumps back in with the vocal at about 8 mins (question: if he’s (MJ, not Todd Terje) guilty..and I have my doubts…can we still play his records?), but it’s the Lindstrom and Prins Thomas stuff which does it. The ghost of a thousand amyl fuelled all nighters thirty years ago, mashed with Teutonic electronica and a lot of warm humour. Check out the amazing journey that is the Plague The Kid EP Pt 2, especially “Paaskeyld”.

The new Kraftwerk double live is one of the best soul records I’ve heard in years, and “Numbers” is still one the most sensual four minutes and 28 seconds ever committed to tape…

The fifth season of the Sopranos is out on DVD this month…at bloody last…I missed the second show in the series and pointedly saw no more in it, preferring to wait for the DVD since I’ve not missed an episode to date and wasn’t about to start. I know all the guff about whether each series is as good and the last and all that, but, really, who gives a monkey’s…it’s the Sopranos…the best TV to come out of the US small screen vacuum since Twin Peaks.

It’s a bit like Star Wars..is it as good as the last one..isn’t it cool to pretend you don’t care about Lucas….you’re above that thing. Bullshit…every man, woman and child on the planet, from the third world (who already have it on pirate DVD) to the first, is gagging to see Anakin turn to the Dark Side (good on him I say..that Jedi Council would turn anyone….and….when you think about it…as I do, with a bit of help from my Force obsessed ten year old…the ancient prophecy was right…Anakin was the chosen one (of course you care)…it was Darth who tossed the Emperor over the edge in “Return of..” (does anyone else think the new pope..the Hitler Youth one..looks like the Emperor?)). “Sith”…I loved it. Romeo and Juliet on an X-Wing.

This week there are two NZ pop singles in the Australian top thirty and an album in the top 30..this has never happened before. It really makes Don Brash’s mumbling on about hip hop tours look like the silly out of touch ramblings of an old man that they are. I thought Don was supposed to be an economist…I wonder what sort of tax return to NZ this success will bring?

And, after close to a decade, Alan Jansson and Paul Fuemana started work on a new OMC album this week. Any act (and these two were OMC) that sells four million records deserves the right to make a second album. It just took this long to get rid of the baggage……

On a completely different note, but positive in a sad way…wasn’t George Galloway good? The best first line ever in DC:

“Now I know that standards have slipped in the last few years in Washington, but for a lawyer you are remarkably cavalier with any idea of justice.”

He completely nailed his inquisitors, so much so, that they’ve pulled the testimony off the Congressional website. But you can find it here. It was just bang, bang, bang, one after another and they couldn’t stop him..live on nationwide US TV. Home truth after home truth..the sort of thing that no-one on Capitol Hill has ever had the guts to say. 100,000 plus dead and getting worse by the day. One of history’s great fuckups, and those sitting in judgement are totally complicit.

Old Soul records and other incurable diseases…

I bumped into Nige Horrocks today at a café in Freeman’s Bay. Nige is, amongst other things, a broadcaster, the award winning editor of Netguide and a good buddy. But more to the point, and a point of major connection between us…Nigel has an incurable affliction. Its an affliction suffered by dozens of otherwise balanced people I know but today Nige smiled and honesty admitted to it. It’s the inability to walk past a record shop, no matter what city or exotic location you may be in; an inability not to browse trivia filled fan obsessed web sites; an inability not to discuss obscure b sides and unreleased mixes with like minded souls; an inability to resist the purchase of that highly regarded album that you own five copies of because of one new added demo on the re-release; an inability to keep that money in your pocket. Credit card companies love us and most record company employees (especially in the quaintly misnamed Godzone) simply have no comprehension of what we are about. And I wouldn’t want it any other way…apart maybe from the record company thing (of which more later).

Nigel Horrocks (I know two guys with the same name, both with ties to music which is quite something in a small country like NZ) knows more about music of virtually any rhythm based genre than anyone I know and deserves to be back on a radio station…god knows we have enough of them..in very short order and it remains a crime against style that he’s not. Just a thought…

Another friend with the same affliction is Chris Bourke. Chris used to work for Rip It Up back in its golden age and now works as a producer for National Radio. He was also responsible for the very fine Crowded House book a few years back before the mass media leapt all over local music as a flavour, a risky proposition at the time I would’ve thought but I’m glad someone took the punt. Chris fired me a lengthy and fascinating email about a whole swag of different musical topics, some about this blog, some about the UK music scene, and a wondrous review of Elvis Costello live in February (“Allison” into “Suspicious Minds” with EC on his knees…the whole thing made me green as hell…) in Hammersmith. I saw the final gig of the first instalments of The Attractions there in about ‘84…where the encore was twice as long as the main set. I just wish he would get over the Sweetwaters debacle (he’s an obnoxious and obstinate bastard I think with a few ego problems) and bring his show back to this country again.

Chris also casually dropped the fact that he’d met Allen Toussaint in the street one day whilst walking through the crescent city…just casually dropped the fact. Gordon Bennett!

I unreservedly love Allen Toussaint’s music, writing, and his productions. He is, without any doubt, one of the towering figures in contemporary American music over the past fifty years and yet he’s widely unknown. I’m not going to document his achievements here…that’s well covered elsewhere but it’s a sad commentary on the state of the industry that other, substantially lesser talents are far more lauded than this man. And here is where my personal affliction shows through…I bought recently, for far too much, a beautiful numbered edition Rhino repackaging of the complete Warner / Reprise works of the man between 1970 and 1978. I own all these vastly underrated albums, on vinyl and CD, but I needed this remaster with a few bonus tracks almost as much as I needed oxygen when I discovered it, and I couldn’t help but do the one-click dance. And, yes ..it was worth it.

Chris just happened to bump into him on the street. As you do. What do you say to Allen Toussaint…” ‘Working in the Coalmine’ was a good tune, Al”?

So to repackaging and such. There is so much beautiful and intelligent repackaging and compiling done around the world that what’s done locally is often a disgrace. I guess as much as anything that’s a result of increasing downsizing, de-prioritising, and staffing by people who simply have no idea about what they’re selling and why people buy music, about the passion that drives their industry (as compared to the need to eat or clean that drives a supermarket chain for example). Music is a discretionary expenditure driven by pure passion rather than a fundamental need to survive. And it can’t, despite the way the majors are now driven by the counting of beans and clearing decisions with some desk in NYC, be treated the same way. Sadly, the majors seem to have lost track of why they exist. In 2005 the most important record label on the planet is Apple Computer. And the second most important is the collection of dozens of peer to peer networks and the small indie labels that have figured out how to use this technology to their advantage.

I can’t help but feel, every time I see some label or industry exec on TV bleating on about downloading or burning as destroying their industry, they are reacting against the problem rather than flowing with, and working with, it. It feels like a thousand fingers being pushed into a million holes in the dyke, like slow corporate suicide. It may take a while but the party is inevitably over. If it wasn’t so pathetic it would be comical.

God…I was intending to write about great repackaging so I guess I’d better try. Locally, EMI have done a commendable job with their sixties re-issues (which I believe have done pretty well), and FMR too have had their moments thanks to Dylan, Jonathan and John Baker. But you have to ask, where is the Flying Nun box set, or singles collection, why are the Split Enz albums only available in shitty eighties cheapo packages, where is the Streettalk collection; an intelligent seventies NZ collection; a decent eighties collection that doesn’t simply recycle the same bloody Dobbyn and awful Satellite Spies nonsense; proper remasters of Hello Sailor’s albums…the list is endless. Wayne Bell and I toyed around with a worst NZ tracks ever set once (it included Citizen Band’s Greatest as bonus disc) but backed down after we realised we’d lose too many friends.

Warners might be going down the gurgler, but the intelligent recycling and repackaging of their legacy by WSM’s Rick Conrad in the UK sets a standard by which pretty much every major should be judged. The Disco and Club Connection series, the Funk Drops albums, the four Natural High collections, the untouchable Philly set, “You Better Believe”, and a swag of others are simply fantastic. He’s given life to long forgotten club hits, album tracks and obscurities and in doing so has satisfied the passion urges of people like Nige, Chris & me and turned tracks that were long regarded as dead into returning investments for their owners and performers. I know the concept is a borrow from the likes of Soul Jazz and BBE but most of the majors simply haven’t cottoned on to the fact that there is gold in the vaults. And a compilation can be more than a collection hits supported by a slap bang cheesy costly TV campaign.

Talking of which….I have to laugh at the current Air New Zealand campaign where they now make a big fuss about offering the same sort of service on “selected longhaul’ routes that every other bloody airline has been offering for years. I don’t believe Air NZ should’ve been flicked off to Qantas..its our only flag carrier and the Australians have no interest whatsoever in sending tourists into NZ to spend money..lets face it, as Ansett showed, good business decisions do not come easily to ANZ. But, call me unpatriotic if you want, I refuse point blank to support companies like Air NZ or Telecom who happily screwed us for years until completion forced a change (Telecom still screws much of the country on broadband with government compliance). Besides which, travelling on Air NZ remains, at best, an unpleasant experience compared to just about any other airline you can think of…….

Extended Play on George 18 May 05

Miles Davis-Backyard Ritual (Extended mix)-Warners-1986
Aretha Franklin-It Only Happens-Atlantic-1973
Blaze-Loverman-Motown-1988
Pieces of a Dream-Mt Airey Groove-Elektra-1982
Johnny Harris-Odyssey Pt 2-TK-1980
Gwen Guthrie-It Should’ve Been You (Levan mix)-4^th & Broadway-1982
Tubeway Army-Are Friends Electric-Beggars Banquet-1979
Beastie Boys-Paul Revere (12” edit)-Def Jam-1986
Original Concept-Can You Feel It-Def Jam-1986
Digital Underground-Same Song (CJ Mac Around the World Mix)-Tommy Boy-1991
Aleem-Get Loose-NIA-1984
Carlton-Cool With Nature-3 Stripe-1990
Prince-Sexy MF-Paisley Park-1992
33 1/3 Queen-Searchin’-Nu Groove-1990
Earth People-Dance-Champion-1990
FK-Mindspeak (Hard And Soul Mix)-Wave-1996
Liquid Liquid-Flextone (Brennan Green mix)-Rush Hour-2005
Lindstrom-Drums of Life-Bear Ent-2005
Chateau Flight-Celestial Showers-Versatile-2005
Braxton Holmes & Dewey B-Club Lonely-Cajual-1997
Simple Minds-Theme from Great Cities-Virgin-1981
Annette-Dream 17-Deconstruction-1988
Weekend Players-21^st Century (FK Dub)-Multiply-2001
Vinnie Troia-Expression (Abe Duque Mix)-Curve-2005
Frankie Feliciano presents Mass-Our Saviour (Anthem mix)-Nervous-1994
Jah Wobble & Holgar Czukay-How Much Are They-Island-1981
Detroit Experiment-Space Odyssey-Planet E-2003
Norma Jean Bell-One of Those Nights (KDJ mix)-Pandemonium-1998
Prins Thomas-Track 3-Rong-2005
Lilo Thomas-Downtown (City Mix)-Capitol-1987
Caress-Catch the Rhythm (DK edit)-????-????

Extended Play 110505 on George

The Criminal Element Orchestra-Put the Needle on the Record-Cooltempo-1987
Jenny Burton-Bad Habits-Atlantic-1985
Esther Williams-I’ll Be Your Pleasure-RCA-1981
Sam Cooke & Sound Dimension-Love Me -Studio One-2005
Black Jazz Chronicles-New Orleans-Nuphonic-1998
The Temptations-The Jones (dub)-Motown-1991
90 Lovers-I Know You Got Soul-Logic -1990
Bohannon-The Groove Machine (Idjut Boys Edit)-!k7-2005
Isaac Hayes-I Can’t Turn Around ( King Chocolate’s Memphis 2 Chicago Re-Edit)-Strut-2001
Persuasion-The Bone (Gentle Persuasion Mix)-Open-1996
Codebass-Confusion-White-2005
Logic-The Warning (inner Mix)-Ibadan-2005
Farley Jackmaster Funk-As Always (Jack Mix)-Trax-1988
Virgo-Free Yourself-Trax-1986
Bis-Shack Up-White-2002
Lindstrom-Paaskelyd-Bear Ent-2005
Deepstate II-Everybody Get Down-Atlantic -1990
De Lite-Wildtime (Derrick May Mix 1)-White-1989
Hardfloor-Acperience I-Harthouse-1993
The Small Faces-All or Nothing-Immediate-1967
Blake Baxter-Enjoy The Silence (Luv Lotto)-TSRD-2004
The Detroit Spinners-Ghetto Child-Atlantic-1973
Chateau Flight-Celestial Showers -Versatile-2005
Keytronics Ensemble -Calyspso of House (Paradise Mix)-Irma-1990
808 State-Cubik (Tomix)-ZTT-1990
Quentin Harris-Got 2 Love (dub)-Spacekat -2005
Fingers Inc-Never No More Lonely-Jack Trax-1988

Elvis was a hero to most….

Up here in Candidasa there is not a lot to do. Candidasa is a sleepy little fishing village on the east coast of Bali (Bali Timur, in the correct lingo), about an hour from the populated southern area around Denpasar. For about NZ$20 a driver will bring you up here. I’m not sure why we’re here actually. I came here for about two weeks four years back and ran out of things to do after three days. But we’re off to Yogyakarta again in a day or so and I guess it’s a way to pleasantly kill some time.

I went for a walk and found the local music shop..pirate dvds and Elvis. I guess the king must be big news here as the only things that had, apart from local pop cassettes, was a Marley greatest hits (30 tracks from the Island catalogue for $1.20…called “Bob Marly Big One”), about half a dozen Elvis movie soundtracks, and a copy of that appallingly remixed Elvis “Number Ones” with a poorly photocopied sleeve.

I wasn’t tempted

But I do have to admit (well I don’t have to, but I will) to a guilty pleasure, and that’s Elvis. I like, used to love ,(still do love his earlier stuff) Elvis Costello (and am loving the recent 10” EP, “The Scarsdale Sessions” however I’m now in the strange position of being the only person I know who likes EC…am I odd?) but I’m talking about the man mountain from Memphis, the man who, more than anyone else took one of America’s foremost contributions to global culture, dumb as fuck white trash, and helped spread it around the world. Take a bunch of convicts and mix it with Elvis….bingo….Australian popular culture (actually that’s not 100% fair but overexposure to middle Ozstralia in Bali does that to you…)

I’m fairly choosey about which Elvis I like. I grew up on the “Sun Sessions”. RCA put together a fantastic compile of all the early pre RCA stuff about 1975 and I thrashed it to death. Hillbilly punk funk, rough raw the perfect mashing together of the sounds of African and European musical traditions (I’m big on the country soul thing right now and really like the “Dirty Laundry” compilation I picked up at Real Groovy), but it might be an acquired taste.

Once Colonel Parker, and all those RCA staff producers took over it all went downhill, I own a box set of every song he recorded in the fifties. I have no idea where it came from as I know I didn’t buy it…BMG used to be generous with samples back in the day. I hate all the hits but love all the gospel stuff. He lost me until 69, until the comeback period, which I came to courtesy of a 1980 collection called Elvis 69 (how many times can they compile this man, and how many unreleased tracks can they continue to find…I picked up a four cd box of unreleased takes about two years ago for $25…I only play CD 4). Tracks like “Suspicious Minds” “Kentucky Rain” simply blow me away..massive soul music from that voice. From there I discovered the fat Elvis period and I’m a total sucker for it. Great songs, great, sometimes epic, production and far far more depth than he’d shown since 56. There is a scene at the end of some Elvis doco film (I’d love to own it but I don’t even know the name of the film..anyone?) where an incredibly overweight Elvis, shortly before he fell into the khazi, is doing a live rendition of “My Way”…bloated, sweating profusely, and still carrying that voice. At once its one of the saddest and most moving musical moments I’ve ever seen.

I remember the day Elvis died. I’m not old enough for Kennedy but I remember Martin Luther King, Sid Vicious, Marvin Gaye, John Lennon…and Elvis. I was living in Cotter Avenue, Remuera with Johnny & Ronnie from The Scavengers, when someone rang and said Elvis had died. I told Johnny who said “Good fucking job”….we thought we were punks.

The next day we went to Wellington. I’d booked the Suburban Reptiles into the Students Arts Festival Down there…after much persuading that my act had some musical merit. So, with a promise of beds and a $200 fee we jumped on a bus and headed south. We almost got biffed off south of Hamilton because Billy Planet took some girl’s Morro Bar and ate half of it…..we thought we were punks.

We got to Wellington and were told they’d changed their minds..no beds, no gig, no money…fuck off…eventually we were “billeted” by this drunken guy in Newtown…that is a whole different post-the story goes on and on. Suffice to say that The Scavengers had also arrived in a car, which had caught fire as they arrived, making the front page of the Dominion (one or other of us made the front page of a newspaper every day for a week). August 1977 and Wellington had never seen a punk, or, seemingly, had any comprehension about what one might be. That we were merely a bunch of art school fashion victims from Auckland made little difference, and a vigilante squad, supported it seemed by the local newspapers and the Police decided to run us out of town.

But back to Elvis..I came across a poster, the day after we arrived, for an Elvis memorial gig at a club called Ziggy’s Rock’n’Roll Heaven, just off Vivian Street and decided that might be a laugh and managed to convince the owner that The Suburban Reptiles were a rock’n’roll band from up north who were keen to pay tribute to the king. I’d learnt over the recent months that they only way to get a gig was to lie.

The big Elvis song at the time was “Moody Blue” (great song…actually the whole album is pretty good) but the crowd were the sad rockers..the greased hair, the bobby sox…seen American Graffiti too many times; and the older version of the same who where there twenty years ago but never got over it. They wanted “Hound Dog”.

They got The Suburban Reptiles. I’m not sure what Zero said about Elvis but it ended in a brawl on the floor..a whole lot of us and it was pretty ugly. We thought we were punks.

The guy who booked The Reps loved it! Simon Morris, from the band The Heartbreakers. He asked if the band would play before his band and talked the university people into a gig, so we didn’t need to write rubber cheques for Chinese food anymore (I actually went into that takeaway in Vivian Street about 5 years later on a Sceaming Meemees tour and gave the guy $20 to cover it).

I guess I owe Elvis that…..